@baeblacksheep: Never trust a fortune teller buying more than 1 lottery ticket.
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@Donna_McCoy: Autocorrect just changed faux pas to faux pasta and this gluten war has gotten out of hand.
@Papa_Mex: But baby, if you didn't want me climbing in your window, why'd you leave the ladder in the garage behind the workbench chained to the beam?
@Smooheed: If you've ever wondered what it's like to try to dress a jelly fish, here, try to get pants on my toddler