@baeblacksheep: Never trust a fortune teller buying more than 1 lottery ticket.
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@GABBYdaAngSaya: Her: Couldn't you have picked a better record to beat? Me: *covered in 13,000 bees* There's no way this can end badly, Susan.
@daemonic3: [at Waldo's trial] Judge: Jury, how do you find the defendant? Jury: We the jury find the defendant by looking in the top left of the page
@UrFavAsianGuy: Sorry girls, I'm no Bruno Mars, I won't catch a grenade for you. In fact, if such situation ever happened, I'd use you as a human shield.