@DaddyJew: Never trust a vegetarian who eats animal crackers
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@EricaTheThor: Apparently a new study shows that unattractive men make better mates. Nice try, ugly scientists.
@PaperWash: If you tell me having a dog is the same as having a kid then I'm going to assume you yell at your dog to keep his pants on at Wal-Mart.
@thecrabbyhook: My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.