@Hello_Bella: Never underestimate a woman sitting quietly in a corner sharpening a knife.
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@iinkedZombie: [courtroom] Me: "I OBJECT YOUR HONOR" Judge: on what grounds? "LEGAL MUMBO JUMBO" Prosecutor: he's good Judge: *slams gavel* case dismissed.
@SirEviscerate: "What would you say is your greatest weakness?" Probably my tendency to stalk and murder people who won't hire me.
@zachreinert03: Got asked to be godfather of my niece, so if anything happens to her parents then someone else has to take care of her because I said no