@Hello_Bella: Never underestimate a woman sitting quietly in a corner sharpening a knife.
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@angibangie: Him: I love nerd girls Me: Did you know that having red beard hair happens if you only have 1 mutated MC1R gene? Him: no. not like that.
@david8hughes: [lying with girlfriend & looking up at the stars] "Hey--" *points to shooting star* "You've put on a lot of weight."
@BubblesnBooze: My phone just changed CrossFit to Croissant, this phone really knows me better than any human.