@Hello_Bella: Never underestimate a woman sitting quietly in a corner sharpening a knife.
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@WheelTod: *Calling from the bakery Me: "Honey, can I get you something: a muffin, eclair, a cupcake?" Her: "Surprise me!" Me: "I think I'm gay"
@junejuly12: Whenever an automatic hand dryer doesn't turn on for me, I like to think my diet is really working.
@SkinnieTalls: To level the playing field, online dating sites should require using the picture in your driver's license.