@TheJamieLee: Never understand when someone says, "cats are snobby." Like dogs are constantly inviting you & the kids over for burgers & a swim?
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@qwertying: I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you.
@david8hughes: Cop: we know you're in there. Me in a French accent: I am not ere, I am in France. Cop: when will you be back? Me: je ne comprends pas