@sammyrhodes: Never understood Monopoly. It's like saying, "Hey we're stressed out about real $, so let's play a game & get stressed out about pretend $.
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@TheHyyyype: My wife always tells me not to take things personally, so I hired a guy to do it for me. He already stole a bike.
@XplodingUnicorn: 4 y.o: I used the potty. Can I have a treat? Me: No. You always go in the potty 4: I can stop Me: Apparently I negotiate with terrorists
@phalguy: How do Tie Fighter pilots see sideways? How do Stormtroopers go to the bathroom? *Star Wars thoughts that keep me awake at night.