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@living_marble: "Arise! Arise! Foul creatures, I command that you arise! ARISE!" "Dad, just once, couldn't you let mom or the alarm clock wake us?" "ARISE!"
@murrman5: [phone w/ son while in bank thats being robbed] in case this goes bad, go to google on the iPad and delete "can owls fly" before mom sees it
@TheAlexNevil: Insomnia: Hi Me: Hi I: Hope I'm disturbing you M: You are I: You know what we could do? M: Let me sleep? I: HA, no, let's think about hippos