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@mattgallo123: I wish they'd just come up with a smoke detector that stops beeping when I yell "alright!".
@hippieswordfish: [1st date] *stuffing face* sorry i eat a lot when im nervous 'u know ur eating a candle right?' yah *points to napkin* u gonna finish that
@NakedWhiteAss: Hey guys, which cell phone provider drops the most calls? I need to get one for my mom.