@TheAlexNevil: Newton taught us that a body at rest will remain at rest, a body in motion will remain in motion, and that figs taste good in cookies.
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@dinokitten: Dad: Why do you smell like weed? Me: How do you know what weed smells like?! Busted, mister! You're grounded for a week. Dad: Okaayy :(
@UNTRESOR: Hi, I'm Brandon and I'll be your hater this evening. Our specials tonight are "ur mom", "lol own3d", and "u mad bro lol u mad?!??!"
@NoTheOtherJohn: [God is taking a nap] Prankster Angel: Um yea hi, Abraham? This is God. *trying super hard not to laugh* You need to kill your son.