@JCWisdomNuggets: Next time a dude says "Pictures or it didn't happen", punch them in the throat, take a pic, and tell a story about a guy you throat punched.
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@PhuckinCody: me: ted is coming over tonight wife: i always feel ostricized when ted is over me: hun, *i take her hand* you are nothing like a giant bird
@LurkAtHomeMom: 7: [from bed] MOM! Me: YES? 7: *mumbling Me: WHAT? 7: *mumbling Me: HUH? 7: *mumbling Me: *pauses movie* 7: WHAT DOES LIGHTNING TASTE LIKE?
@AndyAsAdjective: I lied. There was no crime. I just wanted to see how long it would take the police sketch artist to realize I was describing Patrick Swayze.