@TheTweetOfGod: Next time you kill thousands of innocent people in a disaster, tell the judge you "work in mysterious ways" and see how far it gets you.
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@murrman5: [wife looking at pictures of my dead body with police] "why isn't he wearing a shirt" we believe he removed it when he challenged the coyote
@WritePlay: *dog barks at absolutely everything, every time* Me: SHUT UP *dog barks at burglar, one time* Me: It's like he just knew there was danger
@Dog_Marriage: Breaking news from My dog!! there ar Small animals outside sometimes, but especially Right Now.