@nPhelendriqal: Nice try, cheese graters, cheese is already great.
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@gruffybeard: Son: The landscapers almost hit me with their truck. Dad: So you're saying they almost... Mom: Don't do it! Dad: ...mowed you down.
@loribuckmajor: Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes.
@iAmDelFreaky: I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn't even lift him. We high-fived & laughed.