@heatherlou_: Nice try, private caller. I don't answer the phone if I know you either.
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@DistractedMomma: I often agree to let my kids sleep over at other people's houses, just to remind parents that there are kids who are way worse than theirs.
@dorsalstream: [lights 2016 calendar on fire] There. Now you can't hurt anyone any longer. [wind blows calendar onto my coat; I'm engulfed in flames]
@hbreaker9999: My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.