@ThisOneSayz: Me: Just once? Dog: Me: Please? Dog: Me: Say, "I'm a law-biting citizen" Dog: That's not water in your cup, is it?

@Playing_Dad: Clark Kent: How's your lunch? Bruce Wayne: This soup is great. CK: don't BW: You could even say CK: please don't BW: It's Souper, man

@ThaJawn: (Cannibalism anonymous) Fat guy(sitting alone in a conference room): *burps

@LoveNLunchmeat: Either you die or it's a good trampoline. There's no in-between.

@samLM68: How to enjoy babies: 1 Hold them 2 Kiss them 3 Hand them back to their mom 4 Go have drinks with grown ups 5 Laugh about not having a baby