@GreenishDuck: Before Google, people had to go out in the alley and yell "WHAT'S THE NAME OF THE MONKEY FROM ALADDIN?" until they got some answers.

@mustlovewaffles: I would exercise, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.

@meganamram: I saw Kony kissing Santa Claus

@dave_cactus: ME: Your doll is creeping me out! Is it haunted? NEW MOM: That's my baby, you idiot.

@CantEven101: Apologies to my forehead for assuming that automatic doors will just "open."