@relatabledad: no actually it's called an "african-american" eye, bud. and i got it cause someone beat the crap out of me for being too politically correct
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@AnnaisAwesome76: I’m 39, If you invite me to a party that only starts after 10pm, I’m not even going to pretend I’ll make it.
@DaddyJew: Her: is the game almost over? Me: this is just the first half Her: uggghh how many more halves are there? Me: you're pretty