@relatabledad: no actually it's called an "african-american" eye, bud. and i got it cause someone beat the crap out of me for being too politically correct
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@behindyourback: even worse than arguing with a stupid person online is when an even stupider person joins in but they're on your side
@SodomyClown: Fifty Shades of Grey instills that if a dude is sexy and rich you should allow him contractual ownership of your body because helicopters.
@LurkAtHomeMom: *Mary Poppins voice* Ok, children! Time to go! [15 min later] *Batman voice* I said let's go.
@dysondoc: The new jumper I bought kept picking up static electricity, so I took it back and they exchanged it for another one free of charge.