@novicefather: No Carl, I said "lick her" not wicker. Put the patio furniture away.
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@3sunzzz: Hi. This is my first time at yoga. When I called they said to bring a Matt. *points at man standing next to her* Now what do we do with him?
@deadstick_ron: [Dog office] Dog 1: excuse me this is my desk - I pissed on it so.. Dog 2: I just pissed higher on it D1: son of a D2: SON OF A WHAT, DAVID?
@dafloydsta: [spelling bee] Your word is 'arrogance' "Can you use it in a sentence?" Of course I can, don't be stupid
@Just_Lee_: Nothing says "We have no faith in our own products" like using a 16 year old girl in your anti-aging cream commercials.