@novicefather: No Carl, I said "lick her" not wicker. Put the patio furniture away.
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@ilovepie84: A Cobra wanted to fight me but I challenged him to a thumb war and he slitthered away embarrassed.
@jimmy_boston: Wife: Did you measure for carpet? Me: Yeah, from the window Wife: Don't Me: To the wall Wife: Don't Me: tothesweatdripoffmyballs! *runs*
@LDLevesque: I always envisioned Hermione as a burly, middle-aged Italian fellow, so imagine my surprise when the films revealed her to be a little girl.