@tumblrstorytime: no chill in the bubble kingdom
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: How much for the selfie stick? Him: Sir, that's an Olsen twin. Me: I'll take it.
@biatchppplease: My 6 yr old just asked if I'm a happy wife.. her cover is blown I think she might be working for the other side
@Izianikapani: If the US admits that Trump's presidential campaign is a hoax then Australia will come clean about the platypus.
@cray_at_home_ma: There are actually only two stages of parenthood: having children, and having children who can reach things on countertops.