@Donna_McCoy: No honey, there isn't a neighbor working with a nail gun this early. That was just my knees creaking when I got out of bed.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LifesGoodThing: My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
@MsCassieDaniels: A cat is the animal equivalent of the girl who hated you for no reason in high school.
@Donnie_Fairburn: I could get hit and killed by a truck right in front of him and my dentist would still find a way to blame it on the fact that I don't floss
@wittwitbarista: Unroll wrapping paper. Shoo cat away Turn to get gift Shoo cat away Get tape Dammit cat Get tape Wrap up cat Wrap up gift Pet cat