@danjan13: No, I can't come to your wedding. I just realized the remote works through the blanket.
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@novicefather: My neighbor and I are really close. We call each other things like bro, man, dude, boss... We don't know each other's name.
@LuvPug: Penguins can't fly. Sometimes I get bummed out thinking about that. But then I remember I don't have to clean penguin shit off my car.
@UncleDuke1969: *goes into kitchen *makes toast *pours coffee *sits at table *opens Sunday paper "WHO ARE YOU & WHY ARE YOU IN MY KITCHEN?" *sighs *leaves