@ninjadinosaur1: No, I don't want to hang out at your house. Your pot to snacks ratio is all off.
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@_RealBlondeGirl: I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission. Who the hell is 'Foreclosure'?
@yassinovic89: Gf: am I pretty or ugly? Bf: you're both hun :) Gf: what do you mean both? Bf: you're pretty ugly.
@ibid78: "So why do you wanna work at Petsmart?" *imagines running out of the store with all the dogs in my arms* "I'm a people person."
@KamaroPayne: My husband doesn't find it nearly as amusing as I do, when I read all your tweets out loud to him. For 2 hours. Douche.