@shariv67: No matter how many times he was killed by their products, Wile E Coyote remained loyal to the ACME brand. You've gotta respect that.
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@ericsshadow: HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable "hold on I'm still googling exacerbate"
@TheAlexP: Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?
@stephenjmolloy: Karate instructor: Come at me with an attack and I will defend it. Me: You are stupid. Instructor: *holding back tears* I meant physically
@crylenol: Kinda messed up that marijuana is just a plant. Like, what other plants are drugs? *tries to smoke a carrot* Yea I guess I'm feelin it