@Phook75: No matter how much you loved them if a family member or pet comes back from the dead don't dilly dally kill them immediately
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@Ristolable: ME: Sorry boss, I can't make it in today. Because of Ebola. BOSS: You have Ebola? ME: No but someone does and I am FREAKING THE HELL OUT
@Shock_Monster: I'm no scientist, but harnessing the power of teen girls talking would probably solve all the world's energy woes.
@IAmMikeFeeney: "Excellent choice, sir. And what temperature would you like me to microwave your steak to?" - The Honest Applebees Server
@slimmy_shady: Her: "How is it possible for anyone to be an idiot all the freakin time!" Me: "I know, I'm completely exhausted."