@ThePocketJustin: No matter how often I scream METALLICA in the poolside DJ's face I don't think he's going to play them. Here come the police they'll help me
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@AskBellaWagner: When someone says "It is what it is," I reply, "Isn't it?" so we can both sound useless.
@thenatewolf: *on a first date* Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret
@PhilJamesson: "Girl, are you a tree? cause-" "no i'm not a tree" "..cause i want-" "why are you still talking i'm not a tree" ".. i want t-" "not a tree"
@yoyoha: How long does Netflix have to be down before they send someone to your house to stroke your hair & tell you everything's going to be alright