@Jake_Vig: No, no, no, you don't have to engage in a long explanation of why you're single. We've spent five minutes together, I think I've got it.
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@DulciePlaid: When I left for work this morning, the dog begged me to stay and the cat handed me my keys.
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: I bet medical school was pretty tough DR DOG: yeah I remember one time I did my assignment 4 times bc I ate the first 3 copies lol
@DRUNKdadding: "Sure, you can wear shorts to preschool today." -the reason I am sleeping on the couch right now