@Jake_Vig: No, no, no, you don't have to engage in a long explanation of why you're single. We've spent five minutes together, I think I've got it.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: "At least Donald Trump says what he thinks." Ah yes if only all racists would shout about it constantly the world would be a better place.
@XplodingUnicorn: Wife: Did you give the kids a bath? Me: I got the dirt off. Wife: What does that mean? Me: *hides the leaf blower*