@StarrsWar: No officer I didn't mean to run him over. Yes I saw him but I thought he was my ex, and clearly he is not my ex.
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@junejuly12: Hearing them call a 25 year old hockey player a 'veteran' and a 28 year old player 'old' has done zilch for my self esteem today
@House_Feminist: "They say some of history's greatest minds could function on very little sleep" I explain to squirrel as I water the car at 4am
@Ham_Tornado: New children's book I'm working on: "Nobody poops but you, you disgusting little freak".