@StarrsWar: No officer I didn't mean to run him over. Yes I saw him but I thought he was my ex, and clearly he is not my ex.
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@TheMichaelRock: Wanna have a little fun? Go to Facebook and post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!
@senderblock23: [someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened
@LuvPug: A good friend will delete your browser history for you, but a best friend will make your chalk lines smaller