@blaha_Who: No officer, my car was already upside down when I got here.
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@bornmiserable: [Snow White meets Seven Dwarfs] SNOW WHITE: Why is your name Bashful? BASHFUL: [recalling when he bashed in the 8th dwarf's skull] No reason
@LuvPug: Wrapping presents takes a LOT longer when your kid sneaks up behind you & cuts off your arm with an empty wrapping paper tube lightsaber.
@truegritrumble: BOSS: I hate "yes men." ME: Yeah. Me too. BOSS: I like employees who speak their mind. ME: Yeah. They're the best. BOSS: You get me. ME: Yep