@KentWGraham: No one has stolen my lunch at work since I started labeling it “Stool Sample.”
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@mynameisntdave: [diner] ME: I'll have the eggs, please WAITER: how would you like those? ME: painted and hidden for me to find, thank you.
@dank_dino: *judge bangs gavel on desk* *judge cooks gavel breakfast in the morning* *judge tell gavel he loves her* *judge marries gavel*