@dshack8: No one is more productive than a guy who's been laying on the couch for two hours and suddenly realizes his wife will be home in 5 minutes.
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@FreudsTwin: My therapist told me I should start making my own decisions. So I stopped seeing him.
@UncleDuke1969: She has a rye sense of humor & great buns. I'm her hero, although I don't have much dough. I can't wheat to see her! I'm in loaf.
@Ndeshi_M: Colleague: Quick, the boss is on her way! Me: That’s weird I swear that I didn’t hear her broomstick!
@timdonakowski: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish in highly-contaminated water, feed him for a day.