@robfee: No one is more unnecessarily confident than a white person that just ordered Mexican food in a Spanish accent.
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@SortaBad: My college girlfriend texted me for the first time in 10 years this weekend and I'm 1 million percent sure this is Adele's fault
@jackiembouvier: I wish I had remembered this was a rectal thermometer before I'd put it in my mouth for 3 minutes.
@Aspersioncast: I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
@GurjarShakti: Girl- send your pic. Me - i hv a group photo with friends. Girl- ok send. Me *sent a group photo* Girl - where are you ? Me- clicking pic.