@robfee: No one is more unnecessarily confident than a white person that just ordered Mexican food in a Spanish accent.
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@lorigonzalez28: Pinterest could've been an amazing dating site. If the project ideas came with men to do them, there wouldn't be a single cat lady left.
@ScottFilmCritic: If you only see one raccoon getting a marriage proposal today, make it this one.
@ericsshadow: My doctor told me, "If you don't quit smoking, it doesn't really matter how poorly you eat" and that was the best day of my life.