@shariv67: No one is reading any of these tweets. Feel free to unburden yourself. I murdered a drifter once. Wow. That feels great. Now you.
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@TheHyyyype: [at the beach, about to get in the ocean] "but i don't want my stuff stolen" *covers it with towel* "ok now it's safe"
@KalvinMacleod: As the pair of scissors steps up to the starting line, the other runners quickly realize that this race just got a whole lot more dangerous.
@FeelingMervis: I've had intimate problems all my life. I just can't get close to someone without feeling insecure. You said internet problems? Nevermind.