@omgthatspunny: No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.
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@tchrquotes: There's no actual reason to believe that eating this entire bag of Doritos will make me feel better. That's why it's called faith.
@TeflonPawn: If you're looking for someone to mute the National Geographics channel and narrate the animals thoughts, look no further.
@markydoodoo: Milk toast was probably named by same lazy guy that named the fireplace and waterfall.