@ashmensch: No pants were worn during the making of this tweet.
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@NicestHippo: WIFE: He thinks he's a news anchor DOCTOR: Is this true ME: [stacking papers & talking inaudibly as the camera zooms out]
@brycetache: Yesterday I asked my 12-year-old son what other kids at school think about him having 2 dads. His response: They don’t care but they don’t like how I’m immune to “Yo Mama” jokes.
@13spencer: I keep having to remind myself that an "oral history" is not nearly as exciting as it sounds.