@ashmensch: No pants were worn during the making of this tweet.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EamonToPlease: My phone just sent me an unsolicited hockey score. Aren't there Japanese horror films that start this way?
@celticrose2312: Man at garage: "Are you claiming this off your own insurance?" Me: "Yes. I don't think the deer I hit had any insurance."
@patrickhogan91: 22 y.o. male seeks woman who will kill spiders for him. Will do sex if required, but mostly please kill spiders
@karentozzi: Ten Ways To Tell If Your Kitchen Is Haunted: 1.) Flying forks 2.) Pre-fried eggs 3.) Fridge moaning/wailing 4-10.) Ghosts