@TheDairylandDon: No rule against wearing an old Halloween costume to Thanksgiving. Let your racist uncle talk presidential politics with Donkey from Shrek.
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@iTomFoolery: I mixed coffee with Red Bull, now I can see the invisible things my kitten pounces on.
@TheRolo: [Rumpelstiltskin comes to take first born son] "Give me what you promised unless you can guess my name" Here "Aren't you going to guess?"
@iinkedZombie: Wife [returns home] have you eaten Me: have you eaten Wife: are you copying me?! Me: are you copying me Wife: I Love You Me: I already ate
@Underchilde: I never keep toilet paper in the guest bathroom. They don’t need that kind of incentive to visit again.