@Playing_Dad: No sign has ever encapsulated my life more than the one this woman is wearing
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@ArfMeasures: [Phone] Boss: You haven't been in work all week! Me: I've told you, I always take this week off for religious reasons Boss *gritted teeth* and I've told you, "sharks" is not a religion
@FeelingMervis: Give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give a man another fish, "Hey man where's that fish I gave you Monday? YOU ATE IT?! IT WAS A PET!!"
@jonnysun: me: [staring at myself in the mirror, trying to figure out who i truly am] my reflection: soooooo what are we