@my_minivan_life: No thank you GPS.I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger's seat who knows everything
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@sammontgomery: Cashier at McDonalds said "See you later" a little too smugly at breakfast. I did not appreciate her condescension and told her so at lunch.
@dankmtl: Confession: I'm a fake gamer guy. This gut? Prosthetic. These shorts? Armani. Even this bag of cheetos is filled with healthy baby carrots!
@hamspamtymaam: Instead of chasing after Taylor Swift, I'm just going to wait until she breaks up with everyone else so I'm all that's left.