@my_minivan_life: No thank you GPS.I have this magic ring on my left hand that connects me to the nice young lady in the passenger's seat who knows everything
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@EliTerry: I brought a gun that shoots knives to a gun fight. Everybody was like whoa. We didn't even fight. Went to get nachos. Cool group of dudes.
@heymonroe: There aren't enough love songs about the moment you see your luggage appear at baggage claim.
@haleysfalling: I've decided that I'm going to start texting people back. That's it. That's the joke.
@realHamOnWry: I lay on the grass looking up at the clouds. 'That woolly one looks like a fist' I say, as Jack punches me again.