@That_Damn_Duck: No thanks, alcohol free mouthwash, my life is depressing enough.
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@girl_a_whirl: *pulls away from kissing, stares intently into his eyes Your eyes are like pools of melted chocolate Him: U started your diet, didn't u
@sageboggs: Hey girl, did it hurt? Did it hurt when you had to use your fingernails to rip through the dense layers of sediment on your way up from Hell
@KentWGraham: Our forefathers fought against British rule so anyone can become president. For the first time in 240 years, we’re regretting that decision.
@Black__Elvis: I wanted to major in marine biology but those guys get pretty upset when you follow them into the latrine with a tape measure.