@Hadzilla: No thanks farting robot on the wall I'll use the paper towels to dry my hands nice try though
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@ShesARealGenius: Me: "I mean, how can Harry Potter be the best Quidditch Seeker when he's the only one with glasses?" Librarian: "Just pay your fine, Ma'am."
@ShortSleeveSuit: [at Starbucks] Barista: Coffee? Me: Yes, a medium please Coffee: I'm strongly sensing the presence of your great grand aunt Lucille
@IamEnidColeslaw: shoutout to Disney for giving me unrealistic expectations about love, talking animals and my singing voice