@Swishergirl24: No thanks Kentucky Derby. If I wanted to see a defenseless animal get beat into submission I'd just call my boss.
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@BillPelicanBros: Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike
@TequilaTears: Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
@ceejoyner: Sometimes at the beach it's like "gross, is that a condom?" Yes. And it's staying on. Not looking to raise any shark children.
@caliluvgirl77: Columbus: SO THIS IS INDIA Natives: actually it's no- C: HI INDIANS N: no see, we are nowhere near- C: INDIA IS FUN LETS EAT YOUR FOOD