@lauraleeksmith: No thanks private caller, I don't even answer the phone when I know who it is
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@GulfCoastJake: Tip: When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?" do NOT respond with "I know, right?!"
@envydatropic: In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s
@GABBYdaAngSaya: Me: I think we need to break up Her: Now is not a good time Me: Okay *we ride the rollercoaster in silence*