@lauraleeksmith: No thanks private caller, I don't even answer the phone when I know who it is
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@OfficeofSteve: If you forget what it's like to talk on a Pay Phone, just lick the handle of a shopping cart
@13spencer: [Justice League HQ] Batman: Hahaha *changes his HBO GO® password and doesn't give the new one to The Flash*
@secondofhername: Friend: I'm about to appear in court. Me: Best of luck! Kill it!! Friend:...not exactly the best phrase to use in a medical negligence case.
@PaperWash: me: [placing 20 bags of pizza rolls onto counter] cashier: getting ready for the big snow storm? me: snow storm?