@sass_n_ass: No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook.
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@iAmDelFreaky: Her: OMG! You didn't feed my cat while I was away? Me: Do you remember that time you didn't harvest my crops on FarmVille? Now we're even.
@Reverend_Scott: Welcome back to Taco Addicts Anonymous. Congratulations everyone here on stayin clean for 4 months and- [loud crunch noise in back of room]
@Up2Long: Beautiful women following me on Twitter is screwing up my perception of who will talk to me in RL. A trip to Walmart should fix that.
@JustDontBugMe: When I found out that my neighbour is scared of dogs I bought one And I have never seen him since.