@sass_n_ass: No thanks, Winter Olympics. If I wanted to see a bunch of white people playing in the snow, I'd hop on over to Facebook.
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@JediGigi: Mom: So, do you have someone special in your life? Me: Define "someone" Mom: You know, a boyfriend. Me: Define "boyfriend"
@facciabella: When someone says "everything happens for a reason," I stab them and laugh, just so they know I understand.
@Reverend_Scott: [class trip] I'm farmer Joe, this is my farm DO U HAVE COWS? Yes, it's a dairy farm DO U HAVE WHALES? Kid, why wouldn't we have whales?
@elle91: Shift the power at family gatherings by telling older relatives you didn't recognize them because they've gotten so big.