@carebear4647: No Twitter crush. I have a twitter boyfriend who I intend to marry and have twitter babies. Then twitter divorce and take all his followers.
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@QwertyJones3: An opossum is just a regular possum that reenacts the diner scene from When Harry Met Sally.
@naughtygeisha3: Men say they love Asian women but every time I fry up a new boyfriend's cat or dog it's like all the appreciation goes out the window.
@KentWGraham: MARRIAGE TIP: When your wife forgets to set the timer and incinerates dinner, DO NOT whistle “If I Only Had a Brain” from the Wizard of Oz.