@IdiotOlympics: No words... #IdiotOlympics
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@jnrbtsn: I don't discriminate among size guys. Personally my favorite is 3 inches and goes by the name visa, mc, or amex.
@shawnspree: Girls that are 16 and pregnant look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34.
@austen_420: Rules for meeting a puppy: 1 be cool 2 pet it 3 do not steal it 4 stop running from the owner 5 put it down 6 this isn't worth jail time
@GrantTanaka: wife: ugh I feel so old me: you're only 36 wife: ugh me: that’s like three 12yr olds wife: what me: what