@stockejock: No YOUR a grammar nazi!
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@girlontapas: My parents are divorced. I feel fat and all the other girls my age have boyfriends. Him: Being a teenager is tough. Me: *sigh* I'm 40.
@amishschool: Wife leaves keys on counter with a helpful note saying "keys" in case I thought they were llamas.
@FormerGrunt: Stupidity is dangerous, and thanks to social media we have managed to weaponize it.
@AdderallMomma: --Wanna go rubbing in the park tomorrow with me? Thanks auto correct, this is why I can't have nice friends.