@brennadine: "NO YOU'RE DRUNK," she says playfully into the mirror, then promptly resumes disappointing her boyfriend's mom at family dinner.
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@Prof_Peejay: A student once told me the Big Bang was a lie, just like evolution. Then he asked me what my sign was. I'm just a prof. I can't fix stupid.
@CornOnTheGoblin: A nationwide recall of the popular children's cereal Trix was issued today "Just dump them out in your garden" said one long-eared FDA agent