@carlyken: Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?
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@markleggett: At the ripe old age of 900, in a universe inhabited by thousands of alien races, I bet Yoda had some pretty racist shit to say.
@TheDairylandDon: Life isn't about the moments that take our breath away. That's asthma. You're thinking of asthma.
@LeonEarlgrey: If I am farther than you in candy crush I will automatically think im smarter than you.
@aka_fatman: President, first day on the job: *pushing a button* Janet can you- [two nuclear missiles launch towards Moscow] That wasn't the intercom.