@carlyken: Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?
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@Dawn_M_: Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them.
@NicCageMatch: Ugh why is my bag so heavy? *goes through bag* ok keys, wallet, book, sandwich, water, anvil, other sandwich, human baby, no I need all this
@TheMichaelRock: Me: If I have $45 and your mother has $15, how much money does your mom have? 6yo: $60 Me: That's correct, son.