@carlyken: Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?
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@KevinFarzad: Being a newspaper boy combines two of my favorite things: legally throwing things at people's houses & keeping my fellow citizens informed
@thentherewasmo: Renee Zellweger is living proof that if you keep making that face it's going to be stuck that way forever
@2tickytacky: I walked briskly to the nearest safe haven as I was being chased by the hood on my jacket.