@meganamram: Noah's flood = God clearing his browser history
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@J_Mainwaring69: *Judge raises hammer* "I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE" -*defendant chuckles* "I'm already alive you MORON!"
@JohnFugelsang: I can't wait for the next Oscars dead-person montage when all the celebs Joan Rivers insulted have to applaud her.
@Mikecanrant: *Pauses Titanic during the most romantic part* *Turns to GF* "You know, Contra was really easy. But I still liked using the 100 life code"