@meganamram: Noah's flood = God clearing his browser history
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@blahfamous: Whaaa? You taste brides? RT MatrooKiBijlee: Bridal tasting was a success! The only thing I regret is not taking pictures. But still...."
@joeljeffrey: My dad shouted "shut up idiots" to the cats. I told him "You're speaking English to a cat. You're the idiot. You have to meow at them."
@Adar79Angie: I wish my car ran on shattered dreams instead of gas. I'd be able to make it to Canada on my failed ninja goals alone.
@TheTweetOfGod: NEW EXPRESSIONS "Kanye bless you." "Kanye damn it!" "One nation, under Kanye." "Thank Kanye Almighty!" "The Kanyefather, Part II"