@meganamram: Noah's flood = God clearing his browser history
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@3sunzzz: [first day in prison] "I need to speak to management. There is no way I can use this generic bar soap on my face."
@mrjohndarby: [date] me: so if u could change any part of your body what would it be? her: *laughing* I guess my ankles. what about you? me: well, u know the bit behind the knees? *awkward silence* me: *leans in closer* I'd love em to be as hairy as armpits
@SoVeryBritish: British seasons: Spring: Two months Summer: Eight minutes Autumn: Three weeks Winter: Seven years