@meganamram: Noah's flood = God clearing his browser history
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@CornOnTheGoblin: my wife's lover: what about your husband "he won't be home from the camouflage store for hours" [plant in the corner cocks gun]
@Jessdaisy: Just wanted to say thank you...I was scrolling my tl, saw your avi, and it reminded me I needed to take out the trash.
@That_Damn_Duck: I've never once used the "C word" in a tweet but I will now!!!! Cookie. There, happy now? You c**ts.
@donquixote229: I saw a car with a flat tire so I offered to help. She tells me to hurry cause she has a hair appoinment..This is how serial killers r born