@meganamram: Noah's flood = God clearing his browser history
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VerifiedDrunk: If evolution were real you'd think my body would've learned how to be drunk on its own by now.
@OfficialMizGin: Cologne companies have no clue what really attracts women. If they did, every bottle would smell like doughnuts.
@Xoolun: My wife nominated me to do the ice bucket challenge. I'm a little confused. Has anyone else been asked to hold a toaster at the same time?
@wife_housy: Felt sad that rabbits ate all my marigolds. Then felt glad that I don't have to water them anymore. Suburban life is a roller coaster.