@gorrdano: Nobody deserves to look that peaceful sleeping. SLAP.
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@iamspacegirl: friends who just got married: We were kind of hoping you'd stick to the registry. me *crestfallen*: you don't like the jukebox of screams?
@LoveNLunchmeat: Half the people who follow me are waiting for the nervous breakdown; the other half follow because they're easily impressed by semicolons.
@ComedicBust: Our eyes met. Our hearts touched. He was the one. We fell in love. He used a flash mob to propose. I'm single now.
@DamienFahey: About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.