@NatetheEnigma: Nobody expects you to tweet brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.
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@ch000ch: You: (about to show me a video on your phone) Me: oh haha ya i've seen this already but def don't ask me any questions about it
@Adar79Angie: *friend gets divorced Mon* *friend goes on date Tues* *I break up with boyfriend* *15 years later I casually smile back at a stranger*
@Diversion50: My signature move is texting "There in 5" while I'm 80 miles away and embroiled in a Kung Fu Dance battle with an uncouth cattle farmer.