@RidiculousSheri: Nobody harasses you on the street when you walk around wearing a belt made of live cats.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: [boss's office] I'm tired of staff that think they know everything! Do you know what I mean, Murray? "No, sir" I like your style, Murray.
@HairyJew4Life: Me: Why does it take you forever to text me back? *3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about?
@vineyille: I place my finger on the police officer's lips. "Shhh. Look, we were both speeding, ok? I forgive you."
@hatehug: I've been listening to Pink Floyd for the past 2 hours. I'm about to just go ahead and skip to track 2.