@RidiculousSheri: Nobody harasses you on the street when you walk around wearing a belt made of live cats.
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@Cheeseboy22: I love my wife dearly, but she just used the word "whatevs" for the first time, so 17 years. It's been a good run.
@shwebby2: Whenever I start to disrobe in front of a lady; I always hand her a card that states "A mild sense of Nausea is perfectly normal"
@OhNoSheTwitnt: How many people in America do you think I can trick into believing that Brexit is the name of one of Sarah Palin's kids?
@Home_Halfway: Go to a fancy restaurant. Order the lobster. Order it alive. When it comes, order food for your new pet lobster. Then take lobster home.