@RidiculousSheri: Nobody harasses you on the street when you walk around wearing a belt made of live cats.
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@_SingleBabyMama: As an adult very few things are less humiliating than being caught in public trying to be cute for a selfie.
@Underchilde: I never keep toilet paper in the guest bathroom. They don’t need that kind of incentive to visit again.
@DurtMcHurtt: Her: hey handsome, why don't you give me your number... Me: ...because I still need it.
@Book_Krazy: Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing