@JRehling: Nobody in 1972 would have guessed that in 2014, Bill Cosby and Charles Manson would both be in the news, but Manson more favorably.
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@HelloJessicaFox: If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies
@Sickayduh: ME: Why are you leaving? WIFE: I have hated every stupid pun of yours since we left Manhasset 20 years ago ME: Manhasset been that long?
@KyleMcDowell86: [Bowling Alley] "I'm sorry sir, but we don't have any bowling shoes left" *gestures towards a happy family of centipedes bowling*
@Neauxpe: Anytime a religious organization follows me I just assume I'm being used as a case study/example and they are praying super hard.