@YesThatAmy: Nobody in this grocery store thinks I'm a good bowler. Also, clean up in aisle four.
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@: The doctor says I'm depressed because I don't have enough iron in my diet so I've started nibbling on the gun in my mouth.
@dumbbeezie: When someone says they have a surprise I quickly tell myself it's probably not cake. I'm tired of the let down.
@DrunksWithGuns: Me: Don't look at me that way. Everyone pees in the shower. Her: Yes. Most people have the shower running. M: H: Please leave Home Depot.