@YesThatAmy: Nobody in this grocery store thinks I'm a good bowler. Also, clean up in aisle four.
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@TEXASVETERAN: A hooker once showed me her dollar menu. Her meat actually did resemble McDonald's.
@pattonoswalt: "Snowmageddon"? We can do better, Twitter. #SnowCountryForOldMen #ISnowWhatYouDidLastWinter #SnowMommaFromTheTrain #Snowverfield
@Mom_Overboard: They should make a sister store to "Forever 21" called "So Now You're 35" where you can buy sensible pants and soft sweaters & take naps.