@andrewgutin: Nobody likes the girl who brings the acoustic guitar guy to the party.
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@sad_tree: PSA: wild animals do not know to look away from the eclipse. Bring all them inside during it. Birds, raccoons, fox..all of em
@theshantilly: Therapist: How do you feel? Me: With my hands. T: Do you deflect a lot? Me: Only sharp objects. If it's fluffy, I just let it hit me.
@ImaFlyontheWall: Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats